The Basics Are Disappearing

A quiet reflection on why everyday life skills still matter – and why we can’t afford to lose them

I know Love Island isn’t for everyone, but I watch it with my daughter every year.
It’s a bit of fun, a shared ritual, and honestly… a fascinating social study.
And every season, I start off hopeful.

Just once, let them surprise me. Let the 20-somethings walk in knowing how to cook something edible.
They know it’s coming. They know they’ll be cooking a meal to impress someone.
And still - chaos. Burnt steak. Beige frozen dinners. And half of them don’t even look like they enjoy eating.

They sit there listing what they want in a partner - ambition, drive, six-pack, six-figures.
All good things. But I can’t help wondering:
Are they so focused on getting ahead that they’ve skipped the very foundation?

Because let me say it plainly: not knowing how to cook is not cute.
And not knowing how to do the basics in life - cook, clean, sew, mend, fix…… isn’t impressive.
It’s a red flag.

What Everyday Life Skills Are We Actually Losing?

Sewing. Decorating
DIY. Gardening. Washing the car.

These aren’t glamorous.
They don’t get hashtags.
But they matter.

And these everyday life skills?
They’re slowly disappearing.
Or being outsourced.
Or skipped altogether.

Because we’ve bought into this idea that being “busy” is more important than being capable.

Are We Too Focused on Looking Like We’ve Got It Together?

We want homes that look like magazine spreads.
Clean. Minimal. Curated.

But here’s the thing: a lived-in home doesn’t need to be perfect.
It needs to feel lived in. Warm. Held.

We don’t let our kids learn how to fix or help because we’re afraid they’ll mess up the perfect skirting boards.
But I was eight, paintbrush in hand, glossing those exact boards under my dad’s eye.

It wasn’t about child labour - it was about letting me try.
And what I learned in that moment wasn’t just how to paint.
It was how to take care of my space. How to muck in. How to feel proud of something I’d done with my own hands. 

And I think it gave me confidence throughout my life to just try new things. No second guessing if I will be good at it.  Just have a go and keep doing it until I get good at it.

The Disappearing Thread of Basic Domestic Skills

I have a background in interior design. I’ve made curtains, blinds, cushions - beautiful pieces I’m proud of.

But because people know I’m handy with a needle and thread, you wouldn’t believe how many ask me to fix things.

“Can you sew this button back on?”
“Can you fix this torn seam by the zip?”
“Can you mend the curtain hem?”

Not big jobs.
Not complicated.
Just basic things that, once upon a time, we learned at school or from our nan.

But now? No one knows how.
They’re not confident.
They’re “too busy.”
Or they just never learned and never tried.

And I get it. Life is full.
But it genuinely worries me because once these basic domestic skills are gone… who’s going to pass them on?

What Doing Things Yourself Actually Gives You

I like a tidy home. A well-loved space.
And I get real satisfaction from a quick clean or a cupboard clear-out.

But I’m not chasing perfection.

If the kids scatter cushions by 3pm - so be it.
If the kitchen’s lived in, with mugs in the sink - fine by me.

Because when I’ve done it myself, it feels different.
More settled. More mine.

And the thing is, people feel that.
Visitors often say, before they even reach the living room:
“Your home feels so lovely.”

That’s not the wall colour.
That’s the care.
The energy. The quiet pride. The presence that lingers after effort.

It’s not just a house that’s tidy.
It’s a house that’s been loved into shape.

Why These Skills Still Matter

We’re rushing through life.
Polishing the surface. Posting the highlight reel.
Outsourcing anything that takes more than ten minutes.

But I think we’ve lost something in the process.

Because when you can cook a meal, fix a tear, hang a mirror, plant a pot - it’s not just about the task.
It’s about what you get in return.

• Confidence

• Capability

• Calm

That moment of “I did this” that no app can give you.
That feeling of being at home, not just in your house, but in yourself.

So Let’s Start Somewhere

Let me ask you - gently but honestly:

What’s one basic skill you’ve been avoiding, forgetting, or telling yourself you’re “just not good at”?

What would it look like to try it again?
To learn it, teach it, pass it on?

Not to save money.
Not to tick a box.
Not for the ‘gram.

Just for you.

So you can say:
I made this.
I fixed this.
I know how to do that.

And the next time life throws you a loose button, a blank wall, a bored child on a Sunday afternoon, you won’t need to panic, post, or pay someone else.

You’ll just… get on with it.

Because that’s what these everyday skills do.
They don’t just keep your house in order.
They quietly build you into someone who knows what they’re doing.

And there’s nothing basic about that.