Letting Go in the Age of Social Media: Why We Can’t Move On
Letting Go Used to Be Simple. You’d fall out with someone, go home, have a cry, and eventually move on.
Now? You just log onto Instagram and watch the sequel play out in real time - proof that letting go in the age of social media is a whole different story.
The TOWIE Effect
I was watching The Only Way Is Essex the other day (pure research, obviously) and there was this one scene that said it all.
A birthday party was happening - full hair, full lashes, full glamour, full fun - when some of the guests quietly slipped away. Turns out, they’d gone to a different event… the one that everyone not invited to the birthday was at.
How did everyone find out? Instagram Stories, of course.
Someone posted a clip, someone tagged someone and within minutes the people at the birthday knew exactly where the others had gone.
So, what happened?
Everyone found out and started talking about it forgetting they were supposed to be enjoying themselves.
Even the birthday girl found out and ended up leaving her own party - heartbroken, scrolling her feed and feeling left out of her own party.
That’s the world we live in now: not just social, but hyper-social. Constant updates, constant reminders, no chance to step back or process before the next highlight reel drops.
The Modern Heartache Loop
It’s not just reality TV. It’s everyday life.
You stop seeing a friend for a while - life gets busy, maybe there’s some awkwardness. But you still see them every day, just… digitally. There they are on Stories, out for brunch, laughing with new people, tagging everyone except you.
Or maybe it’s the ex. You’ve sworn you’ve moved on, but you haven’t pressed “block” because, well, “just one look won’t hurt.”
Except every lunch break, every evening scroll, there they are again - having the time of their life, while you’re still trying to make peace with the last chapter.
You tell yourself you’re just keeping up.
But really, every scroll keeps you stuck.
Every update reopens what was finally starting to heal.
That’s how social media comparison works - it blurs endings, keeps us hooked and makes closure feel impossible.
Why It’s So Hard to Let Go
Because we never really stop seeing people anymore.
We used to have space - time apart, distance, quiet.
Now, the people we’re trying to heal from pop up between a skincare ad and a cat reel.
And it’s not just emotional. It’s neurological.
Every ping, every post, every glimpse of a “better” moment fires up comparison and curiosity - keeping your mind elsewhere.
You can’t be fully in your own life if you’re constantly peeking at someone else’s.
It’s exhausting. It breeds unhappiness.
And it stops us doing the one thing we most need after any upset: letting go and protecting our peace.
Space Is the Secret Ingredient
Letting go doesn’t happen in your feed. It happens in your head. And your head needs space to make peace with what’s happened.
Without space, there’s no healing - only constant re-stimulation.
No fresh perspective - only old stories replaying.
No calm - just noise.
Sometimes that space means:
Muting the stories.
Logging off for a while.
Letting yourself miss things without rushing to fill the gap.
It’s not about punishing anyone - it’s about digital boundaries and emotional rest.
Your Own Party
If that TOWIE episode taught me anything, it’s this:
When you’re so busy watching other people’s stories, you miss your own.
You can be at your own birthday party - surrounded by good people, good food, good music - and still be scrolling, wondering what’s happening somewhere else.
That’s not living. That’s observing.
The truth is, most of the time we’re not even missing out on anything extraordinary. We’re missing out on our own moments because we’re too busy tracking everyone else’s.
A Thought for You
This week, try giving yourself some breathing space from the endless updates.
Unfollow. Mute. Log off. Whatever helps you step out of other people’s highlight reels and back into your own life.
Because calm doesn’t live in the scroll.
It lives in the space you make between you and the noise.
And when you finally stop watching everyone else’s story - you might just realise how good your own already is.