The Power of Listening in a World That Won’t Slow Down

Can You Actually Hear Me, or Are You Just Waiting to Talk?

Ever feel like no one’s really listening anymore?

You ever been in a conversation where someone’s nodding, saying “yeah, yeah,” but you can see in their eyes that they’ve mentally left the building? Probably deciding what to have for dinner or wondering if they left the straighteners on. It’s subtle—but it’s not listening.

Not really.

I know this might make me sound like someone who keeps a quill and inkpot on standby, but… what ever happened to just listening?

Not nodding while mentally reminding themselves to take the washing out the washing machine. Not waiting for your turn to speak. I mean actual, full-body listening—the kind that takes patience, attention, and dare I say, a little presence.

These days, only a few people seem to still do it properly. Therapists. Hairdressers. Maybe your nan.

Slowing down in a fast-paced world

Somewhere along the line, we decided that every second must be filled. And I mean filled. Messages, voice notes, podcasts on double speed, videos with subtitles because we’re too impatient to wait for people to speak. We’re juggling tabs, conversations, responsibilities - everything, all the time.

And the result? Everyone’s knackered and nobody’s here.

I tried the whole hustle-and-scroll thing once. I lasted about three days before my brain turned to fog and I forgot what day of the week it was. I was already exhausted, but this tipped me over. My happiness dropped off a cliff, my joy went missing, and this is when I really knew…….. I stopped laughing. And I usually laugh a lot.

Why presence matters more than productivity

I lead with stillness now. I like to take my time. And yes, I do take “too long” to wash up, apparently. I’m often told I move too slowly, or that I hesitate too long before answering a question. But I like how I do things. It suits my nervous system. It lets me feel like a person, not a machine.

Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to period dramas like Bridgerton. It’s not just the dresses (although, let’s be honest, who doesn’t love a bit of regency glamour?). It’s the pace. You see people reading books, painting flowers, walking slowly in the park, sitting at a piano - even just staring wistfully out of a window.

Actual contemplation.

Nobody’s vibrating from caffeine and a dozen notifications. No one’s pretending to be ‘fine’ while holding in an anxiety spiral about their to-do list.

That rhythm ……. it’s not some outdated fantasy. It’s the very thing we’ve forgotten how to value. And yet, it’s where we find balance. I encourage my clients to bring these things back. Not for performance. Not for content. Just to feel good. Because when you engage with life like that, things change.

The underestimated power of listening and pause

I’ve learned, through sheer stubborn slowness - that when you give something space, you get better outcomes. Better decisions. Better relationships. I don’t react. I respond. Because I’ve listened first.

And people underestimate the power of a pause. Not the awkward kind where everyone checks if the Zoom has frozen. I mean the pause where something lands. Where you’re not scrambling for a comeback, you’re sitting with something. Digesting it. Letting it move through before responding.

We need more of that.

Listening isn’t old-fashioned - it’s essential

And the funny thing? When you do slow down, you start hearing things you didn’t even realise you needed to. From people. From life. From yourself. And when you do finally respond—it’s gold.

So be honest, when was the last time you gave yourself space to hear anything properly?

Not through your phone. Not as background noise. I mean sat down, present, maybe staring out of a window in full Regency fashion.

We’ve confused reacting quickly with responding wisely. We’ve started treating presence like a ‘nice to have’, like scented candles or a bath bomb.

Presence isn’t a bonus - it’s the bare minimum if you want to feel like a human being and not just a walking checklist.

So no, I’m not fast. I’m thoughtful. And if that’s old-fashioned, then fetch me a corset and call me Lady Lethargy.

I like it here.

How do you create space for stillness in your day?

Share in the comments or with someone who needs a reminder to slow down.