How to Stop Overthinking and Overwhelm
Maybe You’re Just Being Human
I know everyone keeps banging on about overthinking and overwhelm like they’re new hobbies for midlife women - right up there with buying new supplements and forgetting why you walked into a room.
We’ve all started diagnosing ourselves via Instagram carousels—“This is what overthinking looks like,” followed by a poorly lit meme of a woman staring at the ceiling next to a pile of open tabs. But is it really overthinking… or are we just using trendy new lingo to make regular human moments sound like a crisis?
What Is Overwhelm… and When Is It Just a Normal Day?
Take me, the other day—I was in Oliver Bonas, casually eyeing up cocktail shakers for my daughter’s 18th (yes, we’ve hit that milestone). Arms full of gift bags, sweating because the air con was clearly on a spiritual break, and being herded around by eager browsers. The assistant asked, “Do you need help?”
I said yes (of course). We talked stemware, ice buckets, gold versus silver tongs—you know, the essentials. I bought everything. The plan? Try it all at home like a responsible adult with a Hugo in hand, testing glasses in the name of scientific research.
As we approached the till, she looked at me with sympathetic eyes and asked, “Is it a bit overwhelming?”
And I thought… was it? Or was I just slightly hot, flustered, and carrying a lot of candles in a crowded shop?
We all have moments like that. But I wouldn’t call that overwhelm. That was just shopping fatigue. A classic case of “I forgot I’m not 25 anymore and didn’t plan for how heavy three novelty shakers would be.”
Real overwhelm, to me, feels heavier. Less fixable by a cup of Earl Grey and a sit down.
How to Stop Overthinking: Start by Calling It What It Is
And don’t get me started on overthinking.
I take my time with decisions. I turn ideas over like a good roast potato—get a few angles, talk it out, let it sit. That’s not spiralling. That’s just how I process.
I lead with curiosity, not chaos. Just because I don't decide in 3.5 seconds doesn't mean I’m unravelling. It means I’m paying attention. And that’s not a flaw—it’s a feature.
So much of what we label as overthinking is actually just thinking. Like, properly thinking. And when we slap a label on it, we start to pathologise normal mental activity as a problem to fix.
The Difference Between Overwhelm and Mental Overload
Maybe the real issue is that we’ve all become a bit too fond of the language of overthinking and overwhelm because it makes us feel like we’re not just having a Tuesday—we’re having A MOMENT.
But not every hot, flustered, indecisive minute is a mental health red flag. Sometimes, it’s just life being a bit… life-y.
Overwhelm isn’t always about what’s happening. Sometimes it’s about how much you insist on doing anyway.
I overheard someone in the gym changing room last week—“I’ve got so much going on.” And she did. Genuinely. I was mentally giving her a nod—yep, that’s a lot. But then, she continued.
She rolled right into what I like to call the bonus round: lunches, meet-ups, charity events, a theatre trip, and—my personal favourite—something involving fancy dress and themed canapés.
By the time she was done, I felt overwhelmed—and I was only eavesdropping.
We don’t always know the difference between “I need a moment” and “I should be able to handle this.” And sometimes it’s not the world tipping us over the edge—it’s us, enthusiastically piling more on top of an already full month.
How to Stop Overthinking and Overwhelm? Start With This
Here’s a thought I’ve been turning over like a pair of fancy cocktail glasses:
What if you just stopped adding more?
What if the plan was: don’t book another thing right now.
What if feeling a bit stretched didn’t mean you need a new time-blocking method—but maybe just a slower pace? A gap?
Maybe you don’t need to fix anything. Just… don’t stack it any higher for a week or two.
Not every feeling needs a spreadsheet. Not every brain spiral is a crisis.
Just a thought. Or, if it helps—consider it a gentle nudge to go easy.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Just Busy Being a Human
If you’ve been Googling “how to stop overthinking and overwhelm,” maybe this is your sign to pause.
You’re not doing life wrong just because you’re processing or pausing. You’re just human. And sometimes, human-ing is messy, loud, warm, complicated… and doesn’t need a name other than what it is.
Before You Go: A Moment of Reflection
Next time you catch yourself saying “I’m so overwhelmed” or “I can’t stop overthinking,” try pausing to ask:
Am I genuinely overwhelmed—or just running on empty?
Am I overthinking—or simply being thoughtful?
Is this something I need to fix—or just something I need to feel?
You don’t have to solve it all. You just have to notice. And sometimes, that’s more than enough